Never Too Late
"When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this — you haven't." – Thomas A. EdisonArchive for May, 2009
Test-taker
I have been taking a test, a test of mind, strength and courage. And, without a hint of arrogance, I think I’m passing it.
The tao of no
Usually on Saturday nights, I go out, either alone or with a friend. And as I was just about to walk out the door last night, something happened.
I said no.
I said, no, I don’t feel like going out. I’m not going out. So, I didn’t.
Instead, I changed my clothes, threw on my shorts and my Vans, climbed into the the car and rolled. I opened the moonroof and saw stars and a beautiful half-moon overhead. The cool night air felt wondrous after a bright, warm day. The ride through the night felt more liberating than being in a restaurant. More free.
And, as I said no, I thought about a situation, not too long ago, where I had said no to someone. It was hard to say it, because I care very deeply about this person. But now, as then, it was proper to say it. Though I don’t have what I want, I am stronger for saying no. I am stronger for being who I am.
*****
As I was driving home, I spied off in the distance fireworks. The local university was celebrating the graduation of the class of 2009. I was watching the sparklers reach into the night sky and was reminded of something–when the fireworks stop, the moon and the stars will still burn bright. And as night turns to dawn, the sun will be there. That trifecta will always be there. Follow the example.
The real rules…
Everywhere you go on the internet, you’ll see somebody’s rules for living. But it’s never in the rules themselves but the execution of them that is key. I like this set of rules derived from Eramsus. A big hat tip here…
ERASMUS’ TWENTY-TWO PRINCIPLES ON HOW TO BE STRONG WHILE REMAINING VIRTUOUS IN A DANGEROUS WORLD
First Rule
INCREASE YOUR FAITH.
Even if the entire world appears mad.
Second Rule
ACT UPON YOUR FAITH.
Even if you must undergo the loss of everything.
Third Rule
ANALYZE YOUR FEARS.
You will find that things are not as bad as they appear.
Fourth Rule
MAKE VIRTUE THE ONLY GOAL OF YOUR LIFE.
Dedicate all of your enthusiasm, all your effort, your leisure as well as your business.
Fifth Rule
TURN AWAY FROM MATERIAL THINGS.
If you are greatly concerned with money you will be weak of spirit.
Sixth Rule
TRAIN YOUR MIND TO DISTINGUISH GOOD AND EVIL.
Let your rule of government be determined by the common good.
Seventh Rule
NEVER LET ANY SETBACK STOP YOU IN YOUR QUEST.
We are not perfect – This only means we should try harder.
Eighth Rule
IF YOU HAVE FREQUENT TEMPTATIONS, DO NOT WORRY.
Begin to worry when you do not have temptation, because that is a sure sign that you cannot distinguish good from evil.
Ninth Rule
ALWAYS BE PREPARED FOR AN ATTACK.
Careful generals set guards even in times of peace.
Tenth Rule
SPIT, AS IT WERE, IN THE FACE OF DANGER.
Keep a stirring quotation with you for encouragement.
Twelfth Rule
TURN YOUR WEAKNESS INTO VIRTUE.
If you are inclined to be selfish, make a deliberate effort to be giving.
Thirteenth Rule
TREAT EACH BATTLE AS THOUGH IT WERE YOUR LAST.
And you will finish, in the end, victorious!
Fourteenth Rule
DON’T ASSUME THAT DOING GOOD ALLOWS YOU TO KEEP A FEW VICES.
The enemy you ignore the most is the one who conquers you.
Fifteenth Rule
WEIGH YOUR ALTERNATIVES CAREFULLY.
The wrong way will often seem easier than the right way.
Sixteenth Rule
NEVER ADMIT DEFEAT EVEN IF YOU HAVE BEEN WOUNDED.
The good soldier’s painful wounds spur him to gather his strength.
Seventeenth Rule
ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN OF ACTION.
So when the time comes for battle, you will know what to do.
Eighteenth Rule
CALM YOUR PASSIONS BY SEEING HOW LITTLE THERE IS TO GAIN.
We often worry and scheme about trifling matters of no importance.
Nineteenth Rule
SPEAK WITH YOURSELF THIS WAY:
If I do what I am considering, would I want my family to know about it?
Twentieth Rule
VIRTUE HAS ITS OWN REWARD.
Once a person has it, they would not exchange it for anything.
Twenty-first Rule
LIFE CAN BE SAD, DIFFICULT AND QUICK: MAKE IT COUNT FOR SOMETHING!
Since we do not know when death will come, act honorably everyday.
Twenty-second Rule
REPENT YOUR WRONGS.
Those who do not admit their faults have the most to fear.
Kinda sorta
Here’s a cool chart (to be taken tongue in cheek) comparing introverts and extroverts. Yeah, it’s sorta like this for us.
TFTD
“The sensible man does not feel proud because of revelations he experiences nor because of thoughts that come to him.”–Buddha
Operating principle
I am generally not a stubborn person. Really, I’m not. I’m very easygoing, placid, diplomatic.
Until.
If I’m to do something that I don’t want to do, or do something that is the antithesis of me, I get stubborn. Not belligerent, not nasty, not mean. Just stubborn. And respectful, of course. But, to slice and dice my heart, my soul for someone, and to allow that to happen, ain’t happening. To be asked to be less whole, less human, less me–no.
Granted, I have said many a time before that I am an introvert. Introvert, yes, but not some ogre. I am worthy of loving, and I am worthy of being loved and of love it itself.
So, the operating principles are…stubborn, yes, but always respectful and diplomatic. I understand and know who I am. I evolve. I am whole. I will not cut myself into pieces for anyone, including people I love.
Namaste
A ring of flowers
Here is a really cool representation of the sprawl of ring roads globally. I hope someone makes this into a poster–I’d love to have one.
Memorial Day
For my late uncle, who served in the Army in Da Nang during the Tet offensive;
For my dad, who served in the Army in Darmstadt, Germany;
For all the veterans and active-duty personnel;
Thank you for your service.
TFTD
INTP type prayer: Lord help me be less independent, but please let me do it my own way.
(it’s a joke, calm down)
(hat tip)
Teachable moment
As I sit here
I wonder what can
I learn
Being my age
The thought is tempting
To believe I know it all
Until something comes along
To remind me
I still have
So much left
To learn
Further proof
I think, that Obama is an introvert. Good for him.
Money quote…“He likes solitude, where he can just take a moment and collect his thoughts and breathe,” says a close Obama friend. “And in this job, there is none of that.”
(hat tip)
Celestial question
The moonroof is open, and the stars above are obscured by thin wisps of clouds. And I look up into those clouds and I wonder, ask…do I feel the way I feel because I can, or because I do? The stars rain down the answer–because I do. I do feel the way I do about a someone roaming this planet. And it’s a damn shame the feelings are as deeply felt on the other side, but it is what it is. Yes, it is what it is.
—–
The introvert must be careful. He must be aware that his held feeling do not stray into arrogance. Living in a democracy means one must be ever-vigilant. An introvert must, should, be ever vigilant against arrogance.
Ever vigilant.
Trivia question
Who is the first black to be CEO of a Fortune 500 company?
A shame it’s taken this long for it to happen. And, it also marks the first female-to-female transition in the corporate suite. Things are changing…
He’s alive! HE’s ALIVE!!!
Finally, after a long while, a podcast…
Paradox redux
The paradox of introversion I’ve referred to earlier isn’t a struggle. Nor is it a battle. It’s simply there. I am a self-contained man who wants to, and can, love someone. Not an easy combination, but doable.
Flowering buds
A friend of mine and her daughter planted flowers yesterday. What a beautiful metaphor–living things being planted in the ground, watered, pruned, weeded, tended to. Sort of like us human beings, who need to do the same with ourselves, every day. It is good to see ourselves as a mirror of Mother Nature herself.
Naturalness
It seems natural
How easily I think of you
The thoughts float in
Like a river flowing to the sea
I do not force anything in my head
I don’t make myself see you
In the dreams of the night
Or the thoughts of the day
You do not feel me
In the same way I feel you
And still you are there
Monkeying around
I’m still fooling around with the paradox of being an introvert and keeping my heart open. I can be both, and I will be both. I will just have to call up an extra dollop of awareness, that’s all.
Art lesson
A graphic design professor once told the class…
Everything depends on everything else.
A good rule to remember in life…
Containment strategy
The other day I wrote about being introverted and self-contained. And I was thinking that there’s a paradox in me. I am self-contained but I want to keep my heart open. It is not an easy process. I was the kid who could be content being on my own, playing a game, riding the bike or idling walking in a field. But that didn’t mean I never wanted anyone with me. I played football out in the street with my buddies. I was in the Boy Scouts.
Jump to now. I’m still content on my own. I still do things with my friends. The thing is, being the typical introvert, I don’t want a whole passel of friends. The friends I want, and the friends I have, are quality friends. And quality trumps quantity for me.
I’ll say it again–I feel a love very deeply. Instead of packing it away, never to see the light of day, I will let it see the light. And the rain that’s about to fall. Like the hymn says, this little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
Out of box thinking
At home I have a box of clothes that I haven’t opened in a year, maybe two. I put them there because I had no place to put them. I can’t remember what’s in it, but I’ll crack it open and see what’s there.
I could put my feelings, my heart, in a box, never to be touched, unwanted, forgotten, left to gather dust. Could, but I won’t. My heart works best outside of that box. This is something I must always remember.
Think//don’t think
Don’t think that all this talk you see about introverts is some sort of grand discovery by me. In life you will have to rediscover so many things about yourself that you’ve forgotten. Or you may need a refresher course. Like the one I’m on now.
TFTD
I feel the same way…
“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”
Albert Einstein
We introverts need gobs and gobs of tenacity.
(hat tip)
Imagination station
Have you ever been sitting somewhere, minding your own business, or working along like a worker bee, when a stroke of genius hits you? Like the one that hit me just now?
One of the most dangerous questions is what if. Here’s the stroke of genius…
What if someone did to me, what I am doing to them? What would it look like?
Don’t fail to imagine, or as Eric B. and Rakim said, imaginate.
Birds of a feather
I”ve been watching the The Players golf tournament this weekend, and in particular, Tiger Woods, of course. He’s spraying shots all over the course, but has the ability to come back from his mistakes. One thing I think I’ve picked out about him–he’s sensitive. When he mis-hits a shot, he knows it immediately. When he hits a good shot, he knows it. His senses, his awareness is fine-tuned. As we should all be.
I was talking to a friend over dinner recently, and the subject of introverts came up. One thing that me, Barack Obama, Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan have in common–we are all introverts. I may be a little more pronounced than the others, but we are all self-contained. We don’t live to have others approve of us, nor for the approval of others. We don’t need to be needed. We want to be wanted. There is a huge, huge difference between the two.
Now, being self-contained could lead one–us introverts–to be arrogant. I know this struggle. We are perceived as distant, inscrutable, unreachable, unknowable. Mysterious, complex. I’ll take the last two–I like those. The others…it’s a fight. Distant, inscrutable, unreachable, unknowable could be signs of a heart closed. I know, being an introvert, that the thing I have to do all the time–all the time–is to keep open my heart.
Interesting indeed
I don’t have much of a babyface myself, so I must be out of luck here. Or maybe not. But’s it very interesting how we perceive things, people–threats. Stereotypes, as much as we want to believe don’t matter, do.
One of those days
The grayness of today leads me to what to be somewhere else…like Paris or Brussels. Where I can sit, drink coffee–or beer–and watch the day go by.
Out of hiding
This is a thought-provoking post about introversion and individualism. And hiding.
Introverts like me are often accused of hiding from people, from the world. Maybe we shouldn’t. Maybe the world should be a little more empathetic to those of us who are.
In your neighborhood
In an ode to the “Sesame Street” song…
Where do you live?
I live in chehawville.
What is in chehawville?
It is a combination of things. It is a city, walkable, clean, easy to get around.
It is a place of great natural beauty, verdant and lush, a sanctuary and a respite from the hustle and bustle.
There are meeting places in this city, where friends can gather for coffee, drinks, or just a good, deep conversation. Places to listen to good music, jazz and blues.
Places to go at night to look up and see the stars.
Where it rains sometimes, and that’s perfectly ok.
But what really makes chehawville go is what you can’t see, but you can feel.
The stillness that envelopes you like a warm blanket on a chilly day.
The dreams–vivid, full of detail, kind of strange sometimes, but always present.
The quietness that belies an experience, an existence much deeper and richer than can be seen on the surface.
The relentless that sometimes stirs up trouble.
The introversion.
The passion that yes, really does exists.
The love that is ever present.
The caring that is ever present.
The compassion that is there, too.
The laugh that is too loud sometimes.
The tears that come every so often.
The smile that really is there.
What is chehawville?
It is what lies inside of me.
Where is chehawville?
RIght here, right now.
What are you? Where are you?
Walking meditation
The rain I walked through yesterday was good for the body and the soul. Whatever thouht I had come into my head were there–I just watched them come in. I didn’t try to solve anything or grasp for anything. I just was. I was just being.
Bored
My mood matches the weather–pensive and thoughtful. What am I thinking about?
Love lost
Paris
The song “Candyman”
How did a 50-1 longshot win the Derby yesterday
I should buy a zendrum
I need to buy mala beads
No, I’m not going to let it go
Introversion
I’m glad I said no
I’m glad I remain whole
