The tao of no

Usually on Saturday nights, I go out, either alone or with a friend. And as I was just about to walk out the door last night, something happened.

I said no.

I said, no, I don’t feel like going out. I’m not going out. So, I didn’t.

Instead, I changed my clothes, threw on my shorts and my Vans, climbed into the the car and rolled. I opened the moonroof and saw stars and a beautiful half-moon overhead. The cool night air felt wondrous after a bright, warm day. The ride through the night felt more liberating than being in a restaurant. More free.

And, as I said no, I thought about a situation, not too long ago, where I had said no to someone. It was hard to say it, because I care very deeply about this person. But now, as then, it was proper to say it. Though I don’t have what I want, I am stronger for saying no. I am stronger for being who I am.


As I was driving home, I spied off in the distance fireworks. The local university was celebrating the graduation of the class of 2009. I was watching the sparklers reach into the night sky and was reminded of something–when the fireworks stop, the moon and the stars will still burn bright. And as night turns to dawn, the sun will be there. That trifecta will always be there. Follow the example.


One thought on “The tao of no

  1. Perfect timing… saying no to a close friend is difficult, but to compromise, as you say, is to stunt my own growth. And I say No to that.

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