The boat I burned back in January seemed like it was going to be a difficult one to burn. And some days are more difficult than others. But I can only imagine the pain and the suffering if I had left the boat intact on the shore. I would have had to lie about my feelings, tell someone an out-and-out lie about where my heart was–and not be able to complain about it.
Eight months later, I’m still not going to lie about where my heart is. Remarkably, my heart remains in the same place it has. There’s no sadness in my heart–disappointment, yes. I’m realistic enough to know you can’t wave a magic wand and have who would make my heart happy.
Even though my heart remains in the same place, it doesn’t mean I haven’t grown–I have. I said no, I’m not going to lie to what my heart tells me. Saying no sometimes is the hardest thing to do. But I had to say it. For my dignity, I had to say it. The person I said no to, I still care about deeply–obviously. Saying no, I won’t lie to my heart for you.