Why can’t we be friends

I’ve gotten the lets-be-friend offer after dating/relationships in my journey, but I’ve almost always turned my nose up at it, for a couple of reasons. Feelings are still raw, and while I’m not looking for a hookup, I’m looking for a partner. It’s not what I’m seeking, so I’d rather part ways. And then, there’s the ‘let’s be friend while I fall for someone, and I have to tell you about them, no matter how much it hurts you.’ I’m a nice guy, and I want to be a good guy. That doesn’t mean I am a wimp, or a cuckold, or emotionless. I know my feelings and emotions, and know where my strengths lie. The best parts of me, I can’t leave behind. They are me. That second type of friendship requires me to leave behind pieces of me, and not complain about it. What kind of friend can I be, what kind of friend am I, if I have to lie to myself to make someone else happy? In friendships and relationships, I want to nourish and be nourished. And I want to operate from a place of emotional and spiritual strength. Not strength in terms of power, but strength in terms of being the best for me and for others. That second kind of friendship drains the emotions and the soul. Again, what kind of friend can I be if I sucked of emotion and soul? I’ll probably anger/sadden that woman by walking away. But maybe, the kindest thing to do is just that. Go your separate ways and live your separate lives. Yes, we do want special people in our lives. But we can’t ask them to be compromise their spirits. We can’t ask them to compromise what draws us to them.

But hey, I could be wrong…


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