how i need to be loved

or…how i want to be loved…swapping need for want can be easily done here.


Living it, feeling it

I was at the apartment of two good friends last night, and one said a nugget that has stuck with me all week: Life has to be lived to be understood. What’s the point of a life if you understand everything? That spoke to my sometime urge to want to get it all, intellectually, but truly, it can’t work that way. Life is experiences, good and bad. They have to be lived, felt, emoted over to get their meaning. As the lyrics of “Sojourn of Arjuna” say, we can choose the battleground, but we can’t avoid the battle.

Night notes

**Even though i’m 41, iIm still learning–and relearning–things about relationships, and people, and me. and that’s good. i’m still awake. 

**When it comes to sex now, I think I’m more interested in the intimate than the physical. I want (hell, maybe need) the intimacy and connection these days more than the mechanical slip-tab-a-into-slot-b sex. Even if that connection should only last one night, I want to feel it deeply. 

And a TFTD: “There are lots of things a warrior can do at a certain time which he couldn’t do years before. Those things themselves did not change; what changed was his idea of himself.”
~ Carlos Castaneda


I just heard something great on a podcast. Someone said a person toughened up so they wouldn’t be hurt, and they lived blindly that way. Look, we’re all going to be hurt at some point. Do we have the emotional strength to recover, move on and build up from the experience? Those are the key questions…