This were true…
What if introverts rules the world?
Though, hmm, maybe it already is…
If only…
Reply
TFTD
Popcorn-napkin edition…
A sign of progress
In the U.S., today is Martin Luther King Day, a federal holiday. And like most holidays, retailers are attaching sales to MLK Day now. I suppose that’s a sign of progress.
A keeper of a joke
From here, and appropriate, given where I just traveled to…
God summons the Archangel Michael in to show him his greatest creation: earth. God waxes on, explaining how he has perfectly balanced everything: power to lions, but speed to the antelope, tall trees, but giraffes with long necks, an entire biosphere in perfect harmony.
He then tells Michael, let me show you something I am particularly proud of: Canada. I have given it great natural beauty, abundant natural resources, clean cities, lovely people, everything that is the best of the planet.
Micheal perplexes asks: but I thought you were balancing everything. It sounds like they have everything, whats the offsetting balance?
God responded: ah, let me tell you about their neighbors.
The itch
Until last weekend, I hadn’t been to another country in an embarrassingly long time. So when I spent New Year’s weekend in Toronto, the itch to be overseas came back. And no, don’t give me the “Canada is the 51st state” stuff. Toronto feels distinctly different from the rest of the U.S, and Montreal even more so. It’s time to break out and travel a little bit. I miss the flying (I’m still not great with turbulence) and walking a city–listening, seeing, exploring. Time to re-expand the borders.
No, this isn't an ad for the airline--I actually took this...
Great views
Having taken this subway ride many a time–day and night–I can attest to the beauty of the view. And the rush of everyone checking their cellphones on the bridge.
I’m with him here
Scroll down to the last paragraph here. If Hawking can’t figure it out, what hope is there for the rest of us?
I certainly hope not
Because I am one–an Aries, that is…
Continuations
This being the end of the year, it’s customary to celebrate it and hope for a better year ahead. And that’s cool.
Remember, though–what you have now, will be there tomorrow. The making of you doesn’t stop, or begin, because the calendar changes. The process continues.
This was unexpected
The only connection I have to cricket is this:
It’s a cricket bat I bought at Lilywhite’s on Piccadilly Circus in London. I wanted a cool souvenir.
Still, I read with interest this story on test cricket at Lord’s, the spiritual home of the game. What I didn’t expect was a treatise on the state of modern life, and the need to not be bored, as told through the England vs. India five-day Test match. It was a brilliant piece, and well worth the time spent on the train reading it.
Two quotes really stood out…
“There’s an entire generation of people,” my ESPN colleague Andrew Miller says in the press box, “growing up without knowing how wonderful it can be to wait for something.”
and…
“Everyone’s reality is peculiar to them,” he says. “It has to be. Thank God.”
There’s a constant push to be entertained, a constant desire not to be bored. A constant fear of the quiet, a constant fear of not being able to wait. In a five-day test, waiting is the joy. Waiting is ok.
TFTD
Cynicism is the enemy of leadership.
- Anon.
The hump
The Christmas season always feel like a rush, a mad sprint to the end of the year. It’s akin to a mountain climb, struggling to the top of the summit. And at the pinnacle–a weary relief that the climb is over.
Till next year.
For once, I want the climb to feel a little less arduous. Less a sprint, more of a saunter.
TFTD
You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him discover it in himself.
—
Galileo Galilei
yep…
TFTD
Loners, if you catch them, are well worth the trouble. Not dulled by excess human contact, nor blasé or focused on your crotch while jabbering about themselves, loners are curious, vigilant, full of surprises. They do not cling. Separate wherever they go, awake or asleep, they shimmer with the iridescence of hidden things seldom seen.
–Anon.
TFTD
The late-night edition.
Be wary of what you want.
–Rumi
Giving away
I’m going to give away my hometown with this TFTD…
We make generals today on the basis of their ability to write a damned letter. Those kinds of men can’t get us ready for war.
- Lt. Gen. "Chesty" Puller, 1962
TFTD
It was not a simple task to maintain intimacy with another human being by the mere touch of bodies, and to accomplish it she needed total concentration to keep her soul beyond the reach of the large and small flames of all the passions in this treacherous world.
—
Yiyun Li, from “House Fire“
TFTD
Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.
—
~ Bob Marley
TFTD
Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.
—
Jack Kerouac
TFTD
A man gives many question marks, however, a woman is a whole mystery.
—
Diana Sturm
yep.
tftd
There comes a time when every life goes off course, when you must choose a direction. Will you fight to stay on path? Will others tell you who you are, or will you label yourself? Will you face your greatest fear bravely? Or will you succumb to the darkness in your soul? Will you be haunted by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or simply give up.
—
H.G. Alder
tftd
The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.
—
Caroline Myss
TFTD
I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.
—
Augusten Burroughs
tftd
Rely on yourself and be true to who you are. What’s unique about you is what will take you far. Don’t look to others to say you’re okay. You know it — so believe it! Show your own self the way.
—
Wayne Dyer
TFTD
Every single thing you’ve been through in your life has had a purpose.
—
Beth Moore
(what that is, well, that’s what you have to find out)
Love notes
First off…I’m grateful for what I have and where I am late on this Thanksgiving. Mom’s knee surgery went well, and within weeks, she’ll be up and about and moving pain-free.
Now…
How do you chat up those supposedly impenetrable, supposedly stoic introverts? Check it out here. It really isn’t that hard, just don’t bore and don’t pound us with the “why aren’t you having fun” questions..
And…
A couple of months ago, I went out on a couple of dates. Attractive, lively woman who’s a college administrator. First date went well–we talked for four hours, and could have talked more. Second date–dinner, jazz (a big band she liked), drinks after. Both went well, and of course I felt a third date was in the offing.
Eh, no. She didn’t feel a romantic connection. Really? Two dates, nine hours total, and you know this? I’ve been sold short before, and it always stings. And to top it off, I got the “we can still be friends but understand if it’s awkward” routine. This is where I lost it. I felt like there was something there (enough that, if it had legs, I’d take her to Paris). I felt something in me starting to build in me toward her and was looking forward to seeing what happened. For me to pretend I was a friend but suppress any deeper feelings isn’t awkward, it’s lying to me and to her. (e.g., Be my friend, but you can’t act upon or even acknowledge any feelings.)
Anyway, I continue to want to be the good guy, and to understand that the race is long. Much longer than nine hours. Unlike the writer of the post, I think there is a life partner out there for me. But I won’t accept what’s not good for me.
TFTD
Food for thought…
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Observation
As I’m sitting on my mom’s couch, I’m noticing something. I don’t watch TV–I have one, but no cable. There’s Netflix and iTunes, but no channel-surfing. And sitting here channel-surfing makes me glad I don’t have cable. TV is plain weird, especially the reality shows. And the food commercials make the food look unappetizing.
Visitation
I’ve been wanting to write something for the past couple of days, but haven’t been able to because I’ve been feeling empty–but in a good way. I’m home now and so it feels good to be home with my family and out of the office for a while. I felt a sense of relief after being on the road for 300 miles and finally on two-lane blacktop, 45 miles from the front door. This trip home is a good one but not entirely a happy one–my mom is getting knee surgery next Monday morning. She will be fine–I’m always nervous about my mom and I’m nervous about this. I know it will go well but it’s just natural to be nervous about people invading your body to put new body parts.
TFTD
nice one here…
| The foremost friendships have been formed in mutual adversity; iron is most strongly united in the fiercest flame. |
| - Caleb Coulton |
The real joy
“In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty…in the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning. And in our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of possibilities we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe”.
This is from here, and my reading of this is the opposite from what we’ve seen and what we’ve been taught. When we have sex, we do it under the assumption that there has to be an outcome–somebody has to have an orgasm. There has to be a result, and in the chase for the result, dysfunction happens. One partner isn’t happy, the other fretting about that unhappiness, and drug companies willing to step into the breach with their own solution.
Why does there have to be a result, other than getting pregnant?Why can’t two people be with each other intimately and that’s it? No result, no tension. Just two people enjoying each other’s bodies and souls. No attachment of meaning or outcome.
Just being there.
Winter in October
Old Man Winter came early to New Jersey yesterday, leaving five inches of snow and some rather surprised travelers. What’s disconcerting was that two months ago, I watched flood waters invade my apartment building. It’s been an odd 10 months of weather–blizzards, heat, early cold, an earthquake, a hurricane and a freak early snow.
Route 18 and New Brunswick--two months ago, this was flooded out.
An empty Boyd Park--except for the mallards hanging around....
Bicycle tracks in the ice--somebody was very intrepid.
Best to follow the footprints already made. Yes, I should have had boots on.
Brushing snow off the car. In October. There's a first time for everything...
TFTD
It is very scary to be naked under the stars.
–a comment from theatlantic.com
Drama-free
A couple of months ago, I had dinner with a friend before she moved back Italy. The topic of comparing relationships came up, and she made a keen observation–why is it that there has to be so much drama in a relationship? It’s almost as if a relationship can’t exist without drama, that without drama, a relationship isn’t valid. Here comes the requisite disclaimer–no relationship is perfect, and some conflict is inevitable. People are complex and weird–they, we, you, me–do things for myriad reasons. Her point was the constant, incessant bickering, fighting, arguing appeared to be the hallmark of a relationship. If I had to guess, this might be somebody’s idea of a passionate relationship. Sounds like my idea of a disaster in the making. Maybe that fighting and yelling is trying to mask the quiet that sometimes comes in a relationship, and one or both parties can’t face those quiet moments. I don’t know. I really don’t. What I think I know is this, and it might be a dangerous idea–there are people in life who need a relationship to complete them. There is something that they don’t realize–they are complete as they are. They are whole as they are. This notion pisses on the notion that you need another person to make you whole. Again, for those who aren’t picking this up–you were born a whole human being. You forgot this along the way. I’m here, telling you now–you are whole. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you might be drama-free.
TFTD
Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
–Mahatma Gandhi
What we introverts fear
Missing out on stuff…FOMO is always near
TFTD
Perhaps the most valuable results of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
- Thomas Henry Huxley
TFTD
Everyone can understand from natural experience and common sense that affection is crucial from the day of birth; it is the basis of life. The very survival of our body requires the affection of others, to whom we also respond with affection. Though mixed with attachment, this affection is not based on physical or sexual attraction, so it can be extended to all living beings without bias.
Dalai Lama
TFTD
There is no evil like hatred. And no fortitude like patience.
- Santideva, “Bodhicaryavatara”
TFTD
You need a lot of different horses to work a farm.
–overheard in the elevator at work.
An interesting concept
To ponder as you jump around your house/apartment/flat to this:
What is your church? Where do you heal your hurts?
(Sadly, Faithless has broken up…)
TFTD
(lot of these lately)
Who will penetrate this earth & this realm of death with all its gods? Who will ferret out the well-taught Dhamma-saying, as the skillful flower-arranger the flower? The learner-on-the-path will penetrate this earth & this realm of death with all its gods. The learner-on-the-path will ferret out the well-taught Dhamma-saying, as the skillful flower-arranger the flower.
- Dhammapada, 4, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.
TFTD
How much simpler can it be?
“In your seeing,” he said, “there should be only the seeing. In your hearing, nothing but the hearing; in your smelling, tasting, and touching, nothing but smelling, tasting, and touching; in your thinking, nothing but the thought.”
- Khuddaka Nikaya
TFTD
Those who are afraid of all the sufferings in the world, and yet who are afraid of death, seek for nirvana. But they do not know that the world and death and nirvana are not to be separated from one another. They imagine that nirvana is to be found through annihilation of the senses, not knowing that the world of the senses is already a mirage or a miracle when it is no longer clutched at.
- Lankavatara Sutra
Pioneering
Civil-rights pioneer Fred Shuttlesworth died yesterday. Foes of civil rights tried everything to derail him, and in the end, failed. Perseverance tends to work that way.
TFTD
“I’m a big believer in boredom,” [Steve Jobs] told me. Boredom allows one to indulge in curiosity, he explained, and “out of curiosity comes everything.” The man who popularized personal computers and smartphones — machines that would draw our attention like a flame attracts gnats — worried about the future of boredom. “All the [technology] stuff is wonderful, but having nothing to do can be wonderful, too.”
Written on a Mac.
Running away
We often consider running away to be a negative–we should face our problems head on. This guy ran, or walked. And walked. And walked. He’ll be back home, 11 years later, after circumnavigating the globe. And instead of running from those problems, he likely gained a perspective he never would have gotten had he stayed.
And props to his girlfriend, for sticking by him all those years.
TFTD
As rain seeps into an ill-thatched hut, so passion, the undeveloped mind. As rain doesn’t seep into a well-thatched hut, so passion does not, the well-developed mind.
- Dhammapada, 1, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.
Of note
Two things…
A man in his late fifties embraces his inner introvert, showing you’re never too old to discover yourself.
***
Learn how to write like a motherfucker here.
On repeat
We won’t define insanity here–you can go elsewhere on the web to find it. I’m looking at insanity in a different way. Instead the pop culture norm, what if it’s about our inability to say no? What if we repeat the same patterns because we’re scared of…being alone, being shunned, shame, embarrassment. What if we had the courage to say no? And, perhaps more importantly, explain why, with as much compassion as can be mustered. Then, maybe we can get away from repeating ourselves.
